Today was going to be a productive day…

…of job searching, working on my etsy shop, etc.

But Webster started puking at 6am and we noticed his deer antler was completely missing and then there was blood in the puke.

Then when we got to the vet, he BOLTED out of the car and we had to chase him around downtown Fairfield because even though he has something lodged in his stomach he still has the energy to be a complete terrorist. 

So instead of being productive, I’m going to eat an entire bag of chocolate chips and wait for the vet to call and tell was the damage (to both Webster’s stomach and our bank account) is. 

Here We Go Again

Last Monday, I was laid off for the third time. 

I’ve worked at three companies in my career. And i’ve been laid off from all of them. 

While I know that I’ve had some shit luck, I feel very defeated now that this is has happened so many times. I know that I have great references from these jobs but having not one, not two, but three gaps in my employment history is making me feel pretty shitty. 

At first I felt that broadcasting the fact that I was laid off and am unemployed again wouldn’t be a good idea. I thought this might be one more place where I felt the need to defend myself and prove I was (and will be) a good employee.

But the more I thought about it, I felt that maybe talking about it here will help me figure out what’s next. 

For a while I’d felt that my last job was not what I wanted to be doing. I had great coworkers and we did some cool stuff but did I see myself making a career as an account manager at an agency? No. Is it what I want my next job to be? Absolutely not!* 

The problem is, I have no idea what to do instead. And it’s so extremely frustrating. A friend recently suggested that I read “Lean In” and while I would like to read it, all I can think is that I have no idea what to lean in to. 

For so long, I felt that I was doing everything right. I did two internships in college, worked on the student newspaper, and started working a week after graduation. I was promoted a few times and felt like I had a career. I checked off all the boxes…

Now, just a little over six months until my 30th birthday, I’m a little (a lot?) lost. 

So it looks like in addition to pictures of Webster and a weekly dinner menu, I’ll be trying to figure out my life here. 

*This post may self destruct in a few months if I’m still job searching